Deviation Actions
Spring, Bearan thought to himself, she will return in spring. She has to, she wouldn’t miss Clarina’s wedding for any reason. They were very close. He sighed as he stared up at the plain ceiling. Kirstin had been gone for nearly seven months. True he hadn’t known her much more than that, but he had spent all of his time with her. Now…he had no one, just like before he met her.
Bearan moaned, turning to his side. Since her absence, he hadn’t felt motivated to do anything. Of course he had gone to his lessons; his mother would tan his hide if he didn’t. However, anything else, he refused to do.
He had become so depressed that he had refused to flirt. Some of the kitchen girls had even offered themselves up for him. They hated to see him so sad. He had refused, much to their surprise and confusion.
Yes Bearan was in no small way, broken. He would never be the same again.
Soon spring came, and with it, his beloved returned.
The day she was due to return, he spent his entire night worrying. He visited Haran, not once, but three times for her advice. By the time the sun rose, his stomach was twisted into knots, his heart was threatening to burst from his ribcage, and his skin had grown paler than the purest snow.
That is how he appeared as he stood waiting for his beloved. Even he had to admit that he was less than appealing.
Kirstin entered about eight. She immediately was mobbed by her fellow kitchen aides. They kissed her and told her of how happy they were to see her again. All while Bearan stayed behind.
After some time had passed, he approached the crowd. “Um, may I speak to you, Kirstin?” he questioned, feeling unusually shy. The beautiful woman turned to look at him from her adoring fans, her dark hair sweeping over her shoulder.
“Oui” she replied, sounding equally beautiful and seductive.
He bit his tongue to keep his jaw from dropping. She had grown even lovelier in the seven months that he hadn’t seen him.
“Just a moment,” she replied, drawing away from her friends.
The two stood next to the stairwell. “What is it you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked, her voice grave.
Bearan swallowed, recalling all that he had spoken about with his sister. Reiterate how you feel, “Kirstin, my feelings for you…they haven’t changed,” he stated simply.
She sighed, her composure slipping. That was when he noticed the dark marks under her eyes. She hadn’t been sleeping well.
Her eyes were glassy when she looked up at Bearan. “You look awful,” she stated simply, her voice catching.
“I haven’t been sleeping well,” he explained.
“Neither have I,” she admitted softly.
The tension was palpable.
“May we talk somewhere else, somewhere more private?” he queried.
Kirstin thought it over for a second, before agreeing. The two made their way to one of the secret passage ways. They closed the door behind them firmly. Bearan leaned against one of the walls, while Kirstin paced.
All right, I told her how I felt. The next thing she told me to do was reassure her of my loyalty.
“I would never hurt you and I have given up my flirtatious ways. I want to be with you and only you,” he confessed, his hand grazing her arm.
She pulled away, crying out in pain. “Non, non. Bearen I meant what I said. I do not know how to love. You…you deserve better. I can not love you how I ought,” she explained, her voice slipping into a whisper.
Bearen guffawed in surprise. She is unworthy of me? he thought in disbelief.
“Non mon cheri,” he assured, opening his arms wide. He took Kirstin into a warm embrace. She shook against him, her tears falling down her cheek.
“I don’t know how to love,” she began, her voice thick with sobs. “I had an arranged marriage until he died. I… never learned how to love,” she explained.
Bearan’s heart began to ache at her words. How could this positively amazing woman never have known love? He pulled her closer, kissing her cheek. She shuttered against him.
Whatever happened to her previously must have traumatized her severely, he thought bitterly. If he ever found who had hurt her, he would clock them until they saw stars.
“Shh, shh, it’s all right,” he soothed. “I have to admit that I don’t really know how to love either,” he admitted.
Kirstin looked up, her blue eyes bright with surprise. “You don’t?” she gasped.
He shook his head, kissing her forehead. “Non, mon cheri. You are my first real love,” he admitted with a shy smile.
“Oh,” she whispered her voice soft.
He let his arms loosen around her waist. She slipped her own around his. “Bearan, I love you so much,” she admitted, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck. He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger.
“I love you too,” he replied, stroking her hair. He sat down, taking her with him. She laid her head against his chest. His smooth heartbeat calmed her and soon she fell asleep.
About a quarter of an hour later, she felt a gentle push on her shoulder followed by a whisper. “Kirstin, Kirstin, dear, you need to wake up,” he whispered.
Her eyes fluttered open to see his large hazel ones. They were soft and adoring. “Why?” she questioned sleepily. She hadn’t slept this well in a very long time. The last thing she wanted to do was get up again.
“People are likely wondering where you have been,” he replied simply.
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted, her cheeks coloring slightly in embarrassment.
The two rose. Bearen offered his hand for her. “Wait, before you go…” he began, realizing that they couldn’t be seen together. He paused, unsure of what he should do.
“Mon cheri, I realize that this isn’t the most romantic of circumstances, but I am tired of waiting,” he admitted.
Kirstin stared at him in curiosity. “What is it?’ she asked.
“I have never been the kind of person who wanted to be chained to one woman for the rest of my life. But… then my siblings all married and they seemed to be happy. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want that for myself, especially now that I have met you,” he admitted, a light blush coming to his cheeks.
“What are you saying?” she asked, her voice shocked.
He took her other hand in his own. “I am attempting, and failing, to ask you to become my wife,” he replied with a chuckle. Even for not being a romantic, the proposal had gone terrible. He sighed. Kirstin would never agree to this now.
The two stood in stunned silence. After a few minutes passed, Bearen decided that it was best he leave. He made his way to the door, only to be stopped by a firm hand and a “Where are you going?” from Kirstin.
He turned around, a question on his face. “I don’t understand,” he responded distractedly.
“But I haven’t given you my reply,” she protested.
“Non, you made it quite clear how you feel,” he replied, his voice sharp. He sighed, forcing his voice to remain even.
“Non I have not. Bearen I accept you proposal. I would be honored to become your wife,” she stated simply so he wouldn’t miss her meaning.
“But you were so quiet,” he began.
“Oui, only because I knew not if this was truly happening,” she explained.
Bearan opened his mouth to speak, but she closed it drawing him closer to her. She let his hand cradle her cheek. “Now I believe it is about time that I give you a proper kiss,” she explained.
His eyes went wide before their lips met in a crushingly passionate kiss. He swept her into his arms, making sure that their lips did not break contact. His hands smoothed over the planes of her back, while hers digits wound themselves around his tawny hair.
Their lips pulled and tugged against each other, their noses rubbing against each other. They breathed heavily as their lungs searched for any amount of air.
When they could no longer find enough, the two broke apart, their chests heaving.
“I love you,” he breathed out.
“I love you too,” she replied.
Bearan set her down, both of them leaning against the wall. “I swear that I will never hurt you,” he whispered, stroking the curves of her cheek.
“Oui, I know you won’t” she whispered back. A soft smile began to bloom upon her beautiful face.
The two stood in silence, soaking each other’s presence up. They thought about what had happened and what it meant for the two of them.
Oh no, what if I rushed into this, what if I can’t be the husband she deserves, he wondered.
I love him, but I do not know how to be a princess. Marrying Bearan is more then just committing to a man, but to a life style. A life I chose to leave, she thought to herself.
Bearan was the first to break the silence after recalling what he had said earlier. By now half of the kitchen staff was looking for her. “You should go,” he stated simply.
A hurt expression crossed her face as she looked up. Bearan hurried to right it. “Not that I do not enjoy your company mon cheri, but your friends they will be looking for you,” he reminded her softly, kissing her forehead.
She sighed. “Oui, you are right,” she began, only to freeze suddenly. Her blue eyes were wide.
“What is it?” Bearan questioned, his voice filled with panic. “Is something the matter?”
Kirstin smiled kissing both of his cheeks. “Non, I was just thinking about what you said. You called me mon cheri, which in your tongue means ‘my love’,” she explained.
Bearan’s faced turned crimson. He hadn’t even realized he had used that particular term of endearment. He hoped that his forward action hadn’t frightened her.
“Oui, I did. I am sorry,” he began. At once Kirstin hushed him with her fingers.
“I like it, mon cheri,” she replied, not showing a hint of timidity. She kissed him quickly on the mouth before taking her leave.
After many minutes had passed, Bearan at last recovered his composure. “She kissed me, Kirstin kissed me,” he whispered, then paused as he recalled their conversation. “I’m engaged, we’re engaged. I’m going to marry Kirstin!” he shouted, feeling as much joy as he had felt sorrow earlier.
He breathed heavily, tugging his fingers through his hair. He didn’t feel nervous or scared, just happy very very happy. That must be a good sign, he thought to himself, If she wasn’t the right one, surely I would feel dread. Oh, I must tell everyone.
With that, Bearan left to inform his family of his engagement before he nigh burst with joy.
